Don't Ever Give Up
Thursday, June 23, 2011 @
Day by day...
I realized that there seems to be nothing to blog about.

As I looked back... I see a lot of self-motivational posts
many of which lasted for short moments.

Somehow looking at them again, it feels like they are really redundant.
This place has turned into a blog for ranting
It holds many of my ups and downs.
Moments where I felt like beating myself awake
Moments where I felt strong sense of achievement
Moments where I felt like the future is daunting...
and sometimes full of hope.

After chatting with Jeff today, the more I am convinced that good things don't come easy.
He had his ups and downs, he went through tough times but he pulled through.
Somehow, I'm starting to envision that every one of us will have a moment in life,
where it will be so mind-blowing it changes your life.
Somehow, I don't feel that mine's here yet.

It's a contradicting feeling.
Good because you feel that you have so many mistakes more
so much room for improvement
Bad because life is too short for you to wait for that moment to come
so scary that you have to take every mistakes with pride
never knowing when that moment will arrive and make you a better person.

Somehow, its really confusing.

Looking at myself
I see a failure. Yes it may just be that I'm lacking confidence... in fact a lot.
But I don't feel like I've achieved much yet.

I hate doubters.
In fact, I'd love to prove them wrong.
But this time round, I don't feel that strong urge to prove my capability.
It feels really strange.
It makes me feel useless.

Year 3 has really made me think about the notion of maturity
What is maturity? What is youth?
Somehow they seem to clash so much.
I sometimes wish to force maturity. In fact, I used to think I'm mature but I guess not.
I act childish and crack nonsensical jokes and then people question your maturity.

Life's too short for so many things.
All of us will live old to regret the things we didn't do.
Many of us have no ideas what are the right things to do.
Maybe that's the paradox of life.
You will never know when you are right and only when you have found out, you look back and realized the many things you hadn't been able to do. That's when you regret.

I want to make myself someone I can be proud of.
I want to live life to the fullest.
I want to earn respect.
I want to prove people wrong.
I want to do so many things.
I want to ...


Challenge myself.
I feel so much that the enemy is myself.

My fear, my indecisiveness, my lack of confidence, my immaturity
I feel that my greatest weakness is myself.

Many of the things I could have achieved, I stopped myself even before trying.

I feel the need to be good and be respectable.
If there's ever a better time to feel that way. Now's the time.

As I post this, it will eventually be part of the hundreds of rants I had.
It may be a passing moment.
It may be a memory or so.
I hope that it will still be meaningful.


Chung Yong Xi
13/05/1992
Taurus
INFP
MBS
TKSS
TP - Design
Interior Architecture and Design

Goals
Be A Better Person Everyday
Pursue Architecture in the Future
To inspire and help the unfortunate someday
Don't ever give up without even trying

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thanksgiving
.fourth!Romance is the designer.
Inspiration from Exuvalia and mintypeach.