I don't know why
suddenly there's this really complicated feeling within me

it's tingling and warming.
Ironically, it's also sad and emotional.

It's like...
An emotion linking the present to my past.

It's just like... thinking back of the old days.
It's just... gah. I really can't explain.

Probably because I'm too tired today...

---

As I grow up, I start to hate a lot of things.
Especially the 'realities' of this world.

A lot of us can only be left to say
"Get on with it, This is LIFE."

Seriously... What is life?
Life isn't 'reality'.

Reality is actually created by us.
Whatever happens in this society are all done by us.
Why are there laws? Why are there restrictions?
If we call them 'reality', doesn't it mean we created 'reality' too?

If we remove all weird laws and logic we created,
isn't that still 'reality'?

We can't define 'Reality' as what it already is.

Yes, Life is Reality.
But NOT a reality that's already fixed in this world.
It's a reality done by ourselves for our own lives.
Your actions, your thinking all become reality.

That's what Life is Reality means.
You make reality, you make miracle, you decide your own life.

I know I don't have the right to say this
but why I try not to become related in businessman-like jobs is because...
it has that kind of a reality that I can't seem to accept.

I'd rather you send me off to help out people.
Cause I'd rather my Reality be a meaningful one than a fixed one...

Once again, it's just my view.
Everyone has their own views.

Garh. I think I'm too tired
so I'm sprouting weird things.
Whatever. Bye people.

Really can't wait for wednesday to go.
Because that's when things will become slacker.

I also hate the fact
that every time I tell myself that I will start work early
I end up doing it a few hours later.
-.-"

I also wished my house was bigger.
So that I can have my own room for work
because the atmosphere in my house
really can't make me focus... Damn!

---

Revisited Friendster after such a long time
(Yes, you can tell that I was DISTRACTED again)

And I had a good laugh.
Because now then I realized how funny we talked back in the days.
Compared to now, there's so much difference.

Now, of course, I'm more talkative.
Actually, I figure out there is a need for communication as you become older.

But sometimes, I wished I can just keep quiet.
Then of course, I still do that.

Because I'm not much of a speaker.
I rather listen.

I saw a number of posts on Friendster
saying that I was a laid-back person
gentleman (ahem) and stuff
yeah good stuff

I am not praising myself here
but seriously I thought for a moment,

"Where the hell did that guy go after all these years?"

Yeah. I wished I still retain a part of that...
One thing's for sure, I am still a "feelings" guy.
I used to say I love watching the sky.
Now, I still do.

I am not happy with myself
because I can't seem to focus when I want to.
:/

some say its being too hard on myself.
Oh well...

Anyway
need to buck up

Sometimes I feel awesome to be in this course
because it's really cool and
you get motivated every time you see your work on the way to completion.
but it's just hard to focus
because it really tires your mind out.

---

I don't hate the fact that I am more sensitive and aware of things
because I am born that way
to be able to detect people's feelings
and able to understand situations better

I realized it's never possible to understand everything
some things are just meant to be

so perhaps we should be contented
and just keep things the way they are.

Perhaps too much science
may really torment this world.

Perhaps so...

Maybe I am crazy about the personality types
but hey
i feel much better after reading those analysis.

Even if reading those doesn't come up with immediate solutions in my life
it helps
because you understand yourself better

you realized that you are not problematic or weird
that's just how you tend to behave or react

that's what make you... You.

---

Sudden thoughts of my studies
no doubt there's a hell lot of work
and that many of us get stressed up easily.

some of us pop up ideas like
"Am I really in the right course?"
Even I do.

It's either the stress that's forcing us to quit
or that this really isn't the thing for us.

I don't know either
but I will just move on.
Because if it's not design, I don't know what else I can do.
I'm not the best or even among the borderline
but at least I know I feel comfortable in that line.

In fact, I came into this course not wanting to be an extremely wild architect
Yes, I realize it may hurt me in the future
because architects need to be daring and hold high expectations

But my purpose is still actually simple.
using simple architecture to help the unfortunate
I can help the orphanage do some decoration?
some simple construction?

I don't know how I will fare but I will need to be strong

Alright
crazy 2 days ahead
Need to be strong mentally.

Take care Peeps

I often regard myself as special
or at other times, weird?

Because I tend to feel things differently from people at times.
I tend to see meaning in a lot of things
people find weird or making no sense.

I often do things for the sake of doing them
although deep inside i actually feel the opposite.

But that doesn't matter.

I just need to be myself
in the comfortable manner.

At the end of it,
no matter how hard you try,
everyone will become who they are

Because we are born that way.
So we just need to accept it.

Everyone's born in their own special ways.
Both good and bad
That's what this world is made up of
Different people with different perceptions.

So I'm working on accepting it.

This weekend will be hellish.
2 assignments by next week.

Don't know why I am so tired.
Physically and mentally.
Gah. Just wanna sleep now.


Today was quite weird.
Guess it's because everyone's still in the CNY mood
a lot of us just can't seem to focus.
But later will be back to business.


Heat's been playing well, winning the recent match.
Wade's motivated after winning 2 straight and the MVP award.
So let's hope this run continues.
And Heat, please DON'T trade until next summer.
We can't make a run for the championship now either.
Might as well wait until next season.


Alright, must keep motivated.
MOTIVATE!!!


... scared i fall asleep later how...?

(-.-")

I'm supposed to be doing work now
but I just can't settle down.

Decided that I will just take a drink
sit on my bed with some music
and just let my thoughts settle down.

It worked.
Figured out that I will post.
A really long post

I will just let everything out on this post
and after this, I will work hard.
I really, really have to give myself a challenge.

Most of the time, I don't voice everything out
because some things are sensitive
but whatever it is
This time round, it will be different.

---

Yesterday was quite an inspirational day

I did a quite test and figured out my personality

I am an INFP (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving)
I do things based on my feelings and believe in my own values.

Reading through those wordy analysis helped out.
I was understanding myself much better.
Many of which stated were true.

This will be a lengthy post.
But it is not dedicated to anyone.
It will be a reflection for myself and
help myself take a step higher and challenge myself.

---

As a child, I could recall myself as the most unnoticed one.

My eldest brother was favored by my Grandfather.
My second brother is the god-son of my neighbor.

Me?
I'm just your average youngest son of the family.

I was a shy little boy
I was afraid of voicing out but deep inside, I actually do get big-headed easily.
Then as time passed, I do get more talkative
because of peers
You get that kind of feeling that you have a spot or position to talk.

Then sec 3 and 4 came when you start to realize
not everybody is easy to clique with.
You try to clique but that doesn't mean anything at all eventually.
At that point, I still didn't understand what it meant to be myself.

You can't predict a lot of things, you really can't.
Remember what I mentioned about my brothers?
Things changed.
A drastic manner.

They started having their own thoughts (yes, it's part of growing up.)
and this I really can't say much
but our relationship are not as close as before.

Now, I think my grandfather likes me more than my brother.
In fact, I do hear a lot of good comments about me from a number of people nowadays.

Let's not get ahead of myself now alright.
Yes I feel happy for the acknowledgment
but when you think again, are these really more important than anything else?

My family has always been distant from my cousins side.
It's that different values that separates us.
I do feel that after so long, my family is still the fortunate one
but looking at things now, I can't agree anymore.

It may have changed so much but at the end of it
will any of this come down to a happy ending?

I can't tell, I can't judge, I can't predict.
All I can do is to let time decide
and when the problem comes, this family has to solve it.

---

At a young age, I feel that I am more mature than what I should be.
Mainly because of my family background and things that I went through.
My parents used to have fights and many of them went ugly...
I can still remember myself sitting at the corner
crying as I hear things being thrown around.

Also, thinking back, I realized I was the only child in the family
to be going through most of these events.
My brothers were either at school or outside.

Hence I feel that all these had mature me earlier.
It made me more sensitive towards emotions and feelings...

Other than that, my NPCC life built up my maturity even more
because my batch was chaotic
lots of conflicts and having to see from so many perspectives of people
really groom me a lot.

---

Actually, a huge change in my perspective of life came
after my O's when I became attached.
Please note that this is a sensitive issue and no comments are needed.
Everyone has issues about this and
there will be one day when we need to confront it.
I think today will be the day.

I was a stubborn fellow back then.
I was obsessed and did stupid things.
But that stretch of time really made me think a lot.
Not just about relationships but also about life.

I was more serious about things and how I was as a person.
I really feel that if none of these had happened
I wouldn't have become who I am now.

At least I am able to think optimistic now
and take things more easily.
Yes, I may only be 17 but these 2 factors
have really helped me, especially in this tough Poly life.

During the 1st day of new year,
I actually woke up and told myself
it's time to move on.
It should have happened long time ago but
at least I've finally thought through.

Besides, all these thinking really make me understand that
at this point of time, I'm not ready for any relationship.

I'm the type of guy who go for long lasting relationship
and seeing how stubborn I was after the break,
another relationship would really end up disastrous.

Besides, if I can't handle my academic life at this point in time,
I don't think a relationship will be any better.

So for now, academic comes first.

---
Poly life has been the other huge step for me.
It is really different from TKSS.
the people are of very different "culture" from TKSS.

As much as I tell myself to clique in, I figure that I should just be myself.
This is actually the stage where I figured out that I will just be myself.
Because forcing things doesn't bring any happiness.

My classmates are all nice people
just that we have different perspectives.
But that doesn't mean I have anything against them.
No matter what, it doesn't change the fact that classmates are still friends.

I also figured out that I have to have a goal.
Because in Poly, a lot of things are self-disciplinary.

And through that, I figured that I want to be a useful person in the future.
I want to help the unfortunate.

Yes I do find myself talking a lot and doing nothing
but the bottom line is
I want make this world a better place.

no matter what I do in the future,
I want to be part of the better community.
Making lives better for others.

All lot of things are still uncertain
because I'm still 17.

How wonderful life can be, depends on how we view it.
There's no right or wrong.

When dealing with a tough situation,
learn to make the better out of it.
Nothing's too late until we think they are.

We always say
when there's good, there's always bad.

However, try looking at it this way.
when there's bad, there's always good.

A simple twist can change things.

Life is the same.
A simple effort can make life for the better.

That's it for today.
Have a nice day people.

Tip off people! Let's get started :]

By the way, this is by far the largest stadium I've ever seen.
Reminds me of the Olympics and
for your information
the attendance is a new record of 108,713 crowd.
The largest ever to watch a basketball game :]

A glimpse of the East All Stars (ASE)

Now, the West All Stars (ASW)

Sadly,
Brandon Roy, Chris Paul and Kobe Bryant are out with injuries...

Moving on, Let's start with a full Highlight of the All Star Game 2010



The stadium is really spectacular. It's so damn huge!

Next up, the Top 10 plays.



Awesome right?

I recommend you guys to check up the 2004 All star game.
Vince Carter and Tracy McGrady went crazy in that one.
All the ridiculous dunks were in there ;]

---

Usher performing before the Tip-Off

Alicia Keyes during the Half-time
She's quite pretty by the way :D

Finally, Shakira, also during the Half-time
This one is under the Hot category :D

---

Some nice photos










I thought the one with everyone running and Nash in the front was really cool :]

One of the players I really enjoyed watching was Dwight Howard

He was smiling no matter what, foul or whatsoever
and doing funny faces
like when he hit the Trey or Alley-oop from Wade

He was enjoying the entire process
that's the best thing about All-Star Game.

Really fantastic player :]

---

Final Stats, the top players:


WEST:

Carmelo Anthony - 27 points, 10 rebounds
Steve Nash - 4 points, 13 assists
Amare Stoudamire - 12 points, 10 rebounds


EAST:

Dwyane Wade - 28 points, 6 rebounds, 11 assists, 5 steals
LeBron James - 25 points, 5 rebounds, 6 assists, 4 steals
Chris Bosh - 23 points, 10 rebounds

* Note the East stats, those 3 players
WILL BE THE TOP FREE AGENTS THIS COMING SUMMER
The stats explain it all - why THEY ARE THE TOP AGENTS in 2010 summer.*

---

Last but not least,
MVP is non other than my favorite player, Dwyane Wade!
MV3!!



Let's hope the Heat continues the stride after the All-Star breaks
Go Heat! Make D-Wade stay to contend!

By the way, these pictures are not mine.
Taken from the internet.

Alright people!
Nights out!
Enjoy the last day of your break people!!

Quote of the day:

"Everything's bigger in Texas." - Dirk Nowitzki

ALL STAR GAME 2010 @ DALLAS, TEXAS!

I shall post about it later
when the videos are out :]

In the mean time, enjoy your lunar break!

NBA...
Where Mascots Dance happens.

It's been a while since I've had a real break.
like today :]

First of all, woke up from a really... weird dream.
I was in the similar scenery like the picture above.
There were a lot of people, many of whom I actually knew, on that ice field.
Nothing but scenery and people.
All of sudden I was actually "ice-skating" around the entire place
"ice-skating" because it was the action without the gears.
Weird huh.
Sometimes playing snowball with my friends.
There was only the feeling of excitement, joy and fun.

Then I woke up.
I thought for a moment...
perhaps that's what I truly wished for?
cause it was a simple way of having fun.
I don't know but that was a really.. good dream I've had in a while.

---

Anyway, All-star weekend's on.
Rookies beat the Sophomores for the first time in like... 7 years or so?
Yeah. Tomorrow will be the various contests
before the All-Star game on Monday.
Luckily I'm having a break so I can watch them :]

---

Actually I want to write a lot but nah.
I'm a little lazy now.
So I shall save my rant for another time.

Maybe sleeping early tonight.
Life's gonna be hectic soon again.
So good night people.

oh and I forgot.
Happy New Year people :]

Critic Two was screwed up.

Honestly speaking, I am confused.
I don't know what to do anymore.

In some way I want to blame the lecturers
but in another, I felt that it was my fault.

But I am confused.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
I don't want to start again, considering this and that factors,
but to end up having to redo everything again.

Whatever for now.
I just want my sleep.

But you know what sucks the most?

It's the feeling that

you know what is right to do but yet you just can't get it done right.

Contradicting?
Go figure out what it means.