It's getting annoying and frustrating. If I get a new account, no issues with re-adding contacts but what about the things in my old inbox? seriously. what the heck man.
2) Bought 2 new jeans today for just $40.
3) Work this week is (going to continue being) hellish. Every day there's something new. But I'm enjoying the process because my ladyboss is happy with the work that I produced for her.
4) I cannot make it for the Tanjong Pagar outing. Damn I really wanted to go because its gonna be the first time I will board a train. Then again, it's my own fault for not renewing the passport on time.
5) Money money money.
Money makes the world go round. It makes me giddy and frustrated.
Sometimes I feel immature because of money. I feel inferior because of money.
Everything I'm doing now I'm feeding off my parents.
I really hate it.
I wish that I could just live in some simple country with a simple lifestyle.
That way, this trendy society won't force me to oblige by their rules and start manifesting all the materialistic desire within me.
6) Spain. Spain. Spain.
My heart says yes. My mind says no. My conscience says no.
It's 2.8k. that's a lot of money. Even so, being my first possible overseas trip (to such a faraway place some more), it's really that tempting.
However, my mom's revealing that pressurized but cool-mannered side of hers again. It also pressurized me. Of course she says if I want to go she can work it out, but I know inside her she hopes I don't.
Think about it, she's saving every penny to save up for my trip while I'm enjoying myself and using that hard-pressed money for those 10 days of fun. It's selfish isn't it?
Let's say I do go and she secretly borrowed money from people to make this trip possible, it's kinda even worse. I'm spending other people's money to enjoy in Spain. it's kinda ridiculous now?
Maybe after all these, I should just not go, bite my lips and be determined.
Maybe i will shed tears inside of me but it's more fair that way? I don't know. I hate this feeling. Either way seems to really frustrating.
I don't know. Fuck this. I need to handle this like a fucking man.
7) I was calculating my gpa earlier on. I need at least 3.5 from this sem and final sem to get to at least 3.3 by graduation. Yes, its that much.
That moment I was really pressurized (again) as to how can I possibly achieve that?
Suddenly, it shook me. I realized this: "If not now, then when?"
I only have a year left to make it possible. Why not dream big now and if it all works out, wouldn't it be awesome?
Really, my strategy board for this final year has been set:
If not now, then when?