It's been a while since I've blogged.
As of now, I'm going to some reflection and also some hoop updates.
I've been doing pretty well on school work, though not yet consistent.
Like today, it was extremely unproductive and today I'm pretty moody
Even now as I blog, I'm indirectly slacking.
I realized my mindset matters a lot. In terms of positivity and negativity.
When I start worrying and start blaming myself for slacking, for being unproductive, it becomes extremely difficult and mood-less to do anything at all. I can't move forward.
But when I change my mindset to telling myself what I can achieve and that I can achieve them if I do so, I work at a better pace. But most of the time my panicky mindset eats up the best of me.
Yes, I end up worrying more than I do work.
I need to get rid of that mindset. It's really annoying.
Lately I've also been thinking about a lot of things.
in fact, they choose to come to me instead. I'm currently in an important stage of my life.
It's all about decision making.
internship, career, all the things that will pace me to my future.
Whether I should opt for Overseas internship is also another matter of concern.
I am thinking about it actually, cause it is still a valuable source of experience.
But my results and my attitude may eventually be my obstacle.
I look fine actually, but I do feel that I am bothered by some family problems.
not so major now but I fear for the future... somewhat.
I've been thinking about talking it out to Jinyi or Benny or whoever but
it's either i couldn't fork out the time or I just didn't.
Firstly, it's my older brother.
Sometimes... i don't know what to say at all. It just leaves me speechless.
I know his character, he's a really good guy inside but whatever he's doing now just leaves me... puzzled.
He has this fond for comic-related or fantasy writing stuff. He does have the knowledge in computer too but he's currently like 25 and he's not getting a proper job.
He already screwed up JC, and then poly and now he's not really doing anything.
To say the truth, whenever I watch him helping my mom out at the turf club I actually felt so depressed and sad. I know I'm a guy but seriously, what is a 25 year old doing there? Worst of all, it's like his somewhat main source of income.
I mean come on... you are 25 and should be out there in the society fighting for something and doing something you are passionate about. Not at the turf club and then after which you either find your friends or go home and ... play facebook or something. I really don't get it.
And the small little quarrels he always hold with my mom and for me to have to come out and be the middle man every single time annoys the fuck out of me. Sometimes i let go because they are small fights but ... I don't know but lately I've been thinking it is really childish...
I don't get it. I really don't.
I just want him to do something for himself. My mom always say that his friends are the reasons why he's behaving like this now. I don't want to believe that but eventually if nothing changes, I think I have to.
My second brother is fine actually, I just hope that he can be more emotional at times towards my parents. Like you know, being more concerned at times. I think he's just not really good at expressing himself but I know deep down he's another good person.
Last but not least, my parents.
I used to help out at turf club but GOD i hate that place. I don't know why I feel goddamn sleepy every single time I'm there.
And I used to show tantrums whenever I help out there and worst of all, in front of my mom's colleagues. Now that I think back about it, it's really embarrassing.
My mom works really hard for the family and my father is so much more a changed man now.
But what really changed me and made me felt guilty about all my childishness is the fact that my parents are in their 50s now.
My mom is like 51 and my dad probably 52... that's like either 3-4 years or 8-9 years away from the rightfully retirement age. And now I'm like thinking... they are still the main source of income for the family (besides my 2nd brother) and I feel like when I work in the future, I must give them a good life.
Seriously, think about it, they are in their 50s and they are still working hard for the family... what else can I ask for? I just wish for nothing but the best of health for the 2 of them.
I want to really do something for them in the future, to really... repay them for what they have done for this family.
They are and will be my main source of motivation now. I want to do something for them and the moment is now.
I know some of my worries seem abit redundant but like I said, what I worry for is not now but the future. How long will this family hold together? Will the 3 of us brothers come together?
Very often I have been thinking I hope maybe some friend of my brothers or some relative just come in criticizing any of my family members in some insulting manner or sort.
Cause when that does happen, I swear I will be somewhere out there screaming back in the face of that person. That's probably the best way I can release all my anger in the rightful way.
Yeah. Just remember Yong Xi. Do it for yourself. Do it for your family. Enough said.
On to a more relaxing section. NBA.
It's currently the all-star weekend and I'm just gonna express my view about the Miami Heat as the season stops for a break.
Months ago, the NBA became crazy again as LBJ, CB4 and Flash join forces to form the new Big Three in the NBA.
November ended and the team was a mediocre 9-8 record with all sorts of questions aimed at them. But after that it seemed like everything became nothing more than worries and speculations. Now the Heat are 37-15 heading into the break. That's only 7 losses since November and you can see what an amazing comeback it has been.
Whenever we look at single game performances we start to nitpick. Saying Wade has been forcing shots or LeBron isn't doing enough or that Bosh is totally a non-factor. We criticize a whole lot but just now I actually went to look at some Heat mixes made recently.
Very often mixes carry the best plays from the season and when I actually watched them, I realized all the nitpicking were excessive worrying.
I felt that this team is just AMAZING in the making.
Many said the egos of the 3 guys will ruin things but when I see them connect on the plays I just felt nothing but impressed and even moved.
All the LeBron alley to Wade and vice-versa and sometimes Bosh's nice post-play. It's not everyday you get to see something like that on highlight reels.
You can get to see all those Griffin dunks or Kidd-Chandler alley-oops but you know every time the Heat comes to play, something amazing will happen. Further more the 2 best slashers in the games are often making plays for each other.
I have to hold my stand and say that Heat will not win this year still but just wait.
This team has shown sparks and moments of amazement. They are only on the way and like what others said, this team has YET to hit the ceiling. We have YET to see the team at their best.
If it's pretty amazing now then I really wonder what their perfect moment will look like.
nothing beats more than amazing.
The amazing that lies ahead is gonna come.
Either in April come playoff time or possibly next season.
But it is coming. Definitely.
As of now, I'm going to some reflection and also some hoop updates.
I've been doing pretty well on school work, though not yet consistent.
Like today, it was extremely unproductive and today I'm pretty moody
Even now as I blog, I'm indirectly slacking.
I realized my mindset matters a lot. In terms of positivity and negativity.
When I start worrying and start blaming myself for slacking, for being unproductive, it becomes extremely difficult and mood-less to do anything at all. I can't move forward.
But when I change my mindset to telling myself what I can achieve and that I can achieve them if I do so, I work at a better pace. But most of the time my panicky mindset eats up the best of me.
Yes, I end up worrying more than I do work.
I need to get rid of that mindset. It's really annoying.
Lately I've also been thinking about a lot of things.
in fact, they choose to come to me instead. I'm currently in an important stage of my life.
It's all about decision making.
internship, career, all the things that will pace me to my future.
Whether I should opt for Overseas internship is also another matter of concern.
I am thinking about it actually, cause it is still a valuable source of experience.
But my results and my attitude may eventually be my obstacle.
I look fine actually, but I do feel that I am bothered by some family problems.
not so major now but I fear for the future... somewhat.
I've been thinking about talking it out to Jinyi or Benny or whoever but
it's either i couldn't fork out the time or I just didn't.
Firstly, it's my older brother.
Sometimes... i don't know what to say at all. It just leaves me speechless.
I know his character, he's a really good guy inside but whatever he's doing now just leaves me... puzzled.
He has this fond for comic-related or fantasy writing stuff. He does have the knowledge in computer too but he's currently like 25 and he's not getting a proper job.
He already screwed up JC, and then poly and now he's not really doing anything.
To say the truth, whenever I watch him helping my mom out at the turf club I actually felt so depressed and sad. I know I'm a guy but seriously, what is a 25 year old doing there? Worst of all, it's like his somewhat main source of income.
I mean come on... you are 25 and should be out there in the society fighting for something and doing something you are passionate about. Not at the turf club and then after which you either find your friends or go home and ... play facebook or something. I really don't get it.
And the small little quarrels he always hold with my mom and for me to have to come out and be the middle man every single time annoys the fuck out of me. Sometimes i let go because they are small fights but ... I don't know but lately I've been thinking it is really childish...
I don't get it. I really don't.
I just want him to do something for himself. My mom always say that his friends are the reasons why he's behaving like this now. I don't want to believe that but eventually if nothing changes, I think I have to.
My second brother is fine actually, I just hope that he can be more emotional at times towards my parents. Like you know, being more concerned at times. I think he's just not really good at expressing himself but I know deep down he's another good person.
Last but not least, my parents.
I used to help out at turf club but GOD i hate that place. I don't know why I feel goddamn sleepy every single time I'm there.
And I used to show tantrums whenever I help out there and worst of all, in front of my mom's colleagues. Now that I think back about it, it's really embarrassing.
My mom works really hard for the family and my father is so much more a changed man now.
But what really changed me and made me felt guilty about all my childishness is the fact that my parents are in their 50s now.
My mom is like 51 and my dad probably 52... that's like either 3-4 years or 8-9 years away from the rightfully retirement age. And now I'm like thinking... they are still the main source of income for the family (besides my 2nd brother) and I feel like when I work in the future, I must give them a good life.
Seriously, think about it, they are in their 50s and they are still working hard for the family... what else can I ask for? I just wish for nothing but the best of health for the 2 of them.
I want to really do something for them in the future, to really... repay them for what they have done for this family.
They are and will be my main source of motivation now. I want to do something for them and the moment is now.
I know some of my worries seem abit redundant but like I said, what I worry for is not now but the future. How long will this family hold together? Will the 3 of us brothers come together?
Very often I have been thinking I hope maybe some friend of my brothers or some relative just come in criticizing any of my family members in some insulting manner or sort.
Cause when that does happen, I swear I will be somewhere out there screaming back in the face of that person. That's probably the best way I can release all my anger in the rightful way.
Yeah. Just remember Yong Xi. Do it for yourself. Do it for your family. Enough said.
On to a more relaxing section. NBA.
It's currently the all-star weekend and I'm just gonna express my view about the Miami Heat as the season stops for a break.
Months ago, the NBA became crazy again as LBJ, CB4 and Flash join forces to form the new Big Three in the NBA.
November ended and the team was a mediocre 9-8 record with all sorts of questions aimed at them. But after that it seemed like everything became nothing more than worries and speculations. Now the Heat are 37-15 heading into the break. That's only 7 losses since November and you can see what an amazing comeback it has been.
Whenever we look at single game performances we start to nitpick. Saying Wade has been forcing shots or LeBron isn't doing enough or that Bosh is totally a non-factor. We criticize a whole lot but just now I actually went to look at some Heat mixes made recently.
Very often mixes carry the best plays from the season and when I actually watched them, I realized all the nitpicking were excessive worrying.
I felt that this team is just AMAZING in the making.
Many said the egos of the 3 guys will ruin things but when I see them connect on the plays I just felt nothing but impressed and even moved.
All the LeBron alley to Wade and vice-versa and sometimes Bosh's nice post-play. It's not everyday you get to see something like that on highlight reels.
You can get to see all those Griffin dunks or Kidd-Chandler alley-oops but you know every time the Heat comes to play, something amazing will happen. Further more the 2 best slashers in the games are often making plays for each other.
I have to hold my stand and say that Heat will not win this year still but just wait.
This team has shown sparks and moments of amazement. They are only on the way and like what others said, this team has YET to hit the ceiling. We have YET to see the team at their best.
If it's pretty amazing now then I really wonder what their perfect moment will look like.
nothing beats more than amazing.
The amazing that lies ahead is gonna come.Either in April come playoff time or possibly next season.
But it is coming. Definitely.