I promised not to swear too much.
Right now...
I don't really wanna give a fuck.
You know
I really wonder if I just happened to be a fucking asshole
or just some fucking easy-going guy?
I go for the Fucking Asshole.
Since that's probably what some of you may think.
Anger is a scary thing
Something that can change anything and make them irreversible.
Anger makes us nothing but Fucking Selfish Bastards.
Because when we are angry, it seems as though the whole world is against us.
But you really wanna know how scary or annoying anger can be?
I am in the PERFECT mood to show you how
So read on and get the fucking message.
First of all, as I am writing this post
I wonder how many people who have read will be offended.
I even had second thoughts but I just went "Nah."
In the first place, This is my fucking blog.
I have all the fucking right to be typing my feelings.
If you guys have the right to be angry
Don't I have it too?
Selfish thoughts already ain't it??
Honestly speaking
I think I am an extremely easy-going guy.
Even the task of asking for money back from someone
seems like a hard task for me.
I will think that I shouldn't be so stingy.
I tolerate things most of the time
even if sometimes when I feel the urge to shoot back
I tell myself
"This is a small matter, I don't have to blow it up. Let it go."
Yup, so I become guilty and there,
everything goes fine after that.
Yeah, so right now I make everything sound as though I'm
the good guy just being nice.
Selfish impression ain't it?
---
Let's say you have a seemingly nice day
and out of the blue
some guy or girl just starts giving you attitude
and makes you ponder why.
At first you ask yourself if you've done anything wrong.
Then you try and clarify and it fails.
Or maybe you think again and have no idea what is really wrong.
Or maybe you think that you didn't even do anything wrong!
You know what?
FUCK all those.
Because no matter what it is
This fucking shit call Anger just took over your friend
and to him or her, nobody else is right, only he or she is.
Anger gives us the urge to win
whether or not the consequences will be horrendous.
You won't even feel your heart when you are angry.
That's selfish isn't it?
You just want the other party to goddamn give in
and let you win the war.
---
Why am I so upset today?
Because I am FUCKING SICK AND TIRED of getting BS.
Maybe I'm too nice?
Or I have flaws I can't see?
Then FUCKING come in my face and tell me
I may get angry but I will make the effort to change.
Don't FUCKING get all upset and throw me attitude
How's that gonna make the situation any better?
It just makes me more upset
Because in the first place I may even think that I've done nothing wrong
and yet I'm getting the fucking attitude from any of you?!
So Tell me
If you were in my fucking shoes
Do you think you deserve to be treated that way
when everything seems to be fine?
Or sometimes maybe some things are minor issues
Or can't be helped yet you get unpleasant comments.
Tell me, honestly
How would any of you feel?
So am I supposed to reverse time for you?
So am I supposed to apologize a million times
or beg you for forgiveness?
So am I supposed to go out there and do anything for you?
FUCK OFF.
I DON'T OWE YOU.
In the first place, if I made the effort to do something
and you are not happy with it
The least you can do is to shut up
or tell me in the nicest way possible
to not repeat the mistake because you are uncomfortable with it.
Or if it can't be helped
then you guys gotta accept it because there is really nothing I can do to change it.
Who gave any of you the right to attitude me?
Do I fucking owe any of you?
Am I your fucking servant?
Selfish? If I am, so are you guys.
Most of the time I choose to keep quiet.
Because I don't want to make things awkward.
I hate awkwardness.
So after saying all those
and any of you happened to be offended by me
I'm guessing you're telling me to fuck off and attitude back.
Now tell me, if I retaliate
does it do you any good?
Do you think you will feel happy to be insulted back?
FUCK NO.
You will just get more annoyed
and there goes the whole cold war thing.
Have any of you maybe thought
that while you've given me attitude
as though I owe it to you
Have I ever given any of you any?
I dare say I have only gotten really angry a few times
my entire life.
The most will be talking back in irritated tone.
I even feel guilty after getting angry because
I may have hurt some people.
So I guess I should have just chosen to get angry back?
Will the other party fucking enjoy it?
Use some fucking brain and think.
There's no fucking way that's possible.
It will just worsen the entire situation.
---
So at the end of it
I may sound like I'm some selfish
or whining fucker
who's thinking that his life is screwed up
by all these small misunderstandings
and trivial issues.
You know what?
Look yourself in the mirror and tell me
Wasn't ANY OF YOU angry over all these TRIVIAL issues in the first place?
Wasn't ANY OF YOU behaving the way as I did
when you were angry?
I'm no fucking pushover
I'm willing to tolerate as long as things can be solved.
But don't act as though I owe any of you guys my life.
Because I don't.
Put yourself in my fucking shoes for once
and understand that while you have your problems
I have mine too.
I hate to get angry.
It's immature.
It's stupid.
It' doesn't make things any better.
While I can choose to say "FUCK MY LIFE"
I could have done something more meaningful.
My life isn't fucked up.
I can still eat and sleep well.
Look at those poor kids.
They have so much to worry about survival before even thinking about life.
While we are all fucking alive now
Shouldn't we be more appreciative of life?
Shouldn't we be more understanding?
Instead of winning these "wars"
shouldn't we be doing something more meaningful?
Because you don't fucking appreciate your life
You might as well fucking give it to someone else
who would appreciate it more.
I have no one else to turn to.
So I had to rant here.
I don't need anyone to come up to me
and tell me that I've fucking offended them with this post.
I don't give a shit.
If you can attitude, so can I.
At the end of all these
If any of you happened to be offended
Then I'm afraid you didn't learn anything.
But if any of you understand
how anger can be such a selfish and dumb thing
Then please
Do your best to control it.
I'm going to sleep
and let life go on as per normal.
I'm going to forget and start doing something more meaningful.
as long as I don't let this fucking thing call anger take over me.