No matter what happens. Just don't give up.

Im angry.

Yes I'm more angry than sad or emo or whatever.

But I'm just going to complain and rant here.

Seriously

i just felt that I was played around by a fool.

I really wanted to give up and I almost did 2 months ago.

then you drew back my attention.

I thought maybe there is a chance to turn things back.

When I tried and failed

I am fine with it

I'm a guy, this is what I need to take and move on.

But the comments?

I'm offended or even hurt by them.

First of all, you kept dwelling over it

Then, i thought of giving another try

Next, you thought again and reject

Last, you say there are better guys out there.

I understand, i can put down my pride and tell myself to move on.

But what is this?

To be played around with?

I can call myself stupid, for dwelling over things

I can call myself stupid for being for having this one-sided feeling

To you, this may be the most relieve moment ever

because you feel that you can finally let go and move on.

I am happy and I can respect that

But don't do that to another person.

Because that feeling sucks

That feeling that you've been played around with, unintentionally

it really, really angers the person.

What you need to learn from this is not

to let go and move on

what you need to learn is to be decisive

when you like that person, you show obvious intentions

Yes, i agree that girls may be more sensitive

and want guys to understand their hidden messages

but guys ARE NOT SUPERMAN.

we sometimes just don't get things.

if you really want something, sometimes you need to let them know.

At the end of this

I guess I can call myself stupid for dwelling over things

but i shall keep quiet in reality to maintain this situation.

This is probably the best and

no matter what

we are still friends.

i continue to question myself.

what is maturity?

why is it that i cant achieved that?

Maturity cant be forced?

I feel like the same I've always been since secondary school

It's like I've never grew since then.

While everyone

everyone around me is slowly growing up.

is it because I demand so much from myself?

i don't know.

I really don't

Some time in life, I feel the urge to mature

to have a friend or someone maybe telling you

"You've finally grown up."

i don't know.

i look at myself in the mirror

I can't tell.

I am not satisfied

with the way I'm dealing with things

Am i mature?

i am not.

No i am not.

what is wrong with you?!

why are you so timid?!

freaking coward.

stand and fight.

if not

nothing will ever change.

NOTHING.

I know i havent been blogging.

i may not for a while.

im just here to remind myself.

I need to be confident.

In whatever I do, I've always lacked confidence.

I need to change that somehow.

BUT

if ever EVER I change

I want myself to remember what my goal is

to play a part in this world

to help the needy and unfortunate

remember that. I must.

No matter what the results were
what done was done.
Both teams did their best, enduring the 6 months of training.

To come so far, they were already champions.
They may not bring the biggest trophy back
but they have definitely gotten something far beyond that
which will stay with them for long.

Good job guys and girls! :]

---

Several guys and girls came back to support
Had a lot of fun with them while watching the comp
cracking jokes and nonsense.
Damn... I miss those days :/

Lunch @ PP with them
then split up and went home.

Seriously, I wished I had been more vocal back when I was the captain.
I just realized how much fun everyone was back then.
Haiz...

Really tired today.
Even dozed off awhile ago.

Good Night people!

不知该从何说起

爱一个人应该怎么去做?
"爱一个人最重要是她能够开心"
我非常认同

我也试着去接受
但每当我努力想去忘记时
我却认为你其实还是喜欢着我

我也不想放弃多一次机会

有的人认为是我的错
因为我放不下

我就是放不下
但又不知该如何开口
因为我真的不想说错话而刺激你

能了解我感受的人也无能为力
因为不管说什么
最终还是得我一个人面对

有时我觉得是自己爱得太疯狂
已经一年多了
你对我来说还是很特别

路过熟悉的地方都会让我
回想起美好的回忆

你的傻气
你的可爱
你的关心

还有
你的付出

过了这么久
也许我还是很固执
但我也变得更坚强

无论如何
只要你过得好
我就无所谓

我不能否认我还是很喜欢你
也许还会这样下去好久好久

看着你所写得短文
很希望那个人就是我

但是爱情不能勉强
这道理谁都知道

要是你不想要放弃
希望你会知道我还是在这里

还是爱着你

Why am I still thinking?

Do something already!

Reached home around 12.30 am just now.
Went around like a retard wishing people luck for presentation
and disturbing them.
Why?
Because my presentation was over! :P

After that we all took lots of photos
Dine @ Fish & Co. with IAD peeps.
then drank at a pub.

Luckily I went easy on myself
I didn't wanna be drunk and then later act like a drunk idiot.
-.-"

Plans so far...
Saturday Campcraft Finals,
then evening balling with Fendy and company

I've made the decision to not work this holidays.
I wanna train my fitness
and also
take some time out to practice Sketch-up skills and Autocad
My autocad is horrible (exactly why Suhan shot me down like... o.0)

---

My YEAR ONE life has officially ended.

looking back... I think a lot of things have changed.
the class has bonded a lot through the year.

P1 was the crucial point
It really brought the entire Year One batch together
and we got to know each other better.

Last time the 2 classes used to have perceptions of the other
but now, I don't really see anything
All of us are actually fine.

Pamela told me before that she really like our batch
Instead of being competitive during P1 period
we were just all around helping one another.

I can't helped but agree.
Oh well
3-4 more weeks and Year Two life begins.

For now, just enjoy life :]

If you're not feeling well
make sure you take enough rest!

Oh yeah. I will try get a beanie by tomorrow.
Need the right color!

No matter what happens
I will learn to accept it.

One more shot.

One more.

Got criticized like crazy by Suhan.
But I didn't argue cause she said the right thing.

I didn't dwell over it for too long
Even though it was the final presentation.
Because at least my holidays are here.

I realized I have been more hyperactive than ever lately.
I do retarded things and started behaving like a crazy fellow.
Am I maturing or changing?

But I'm the 'normal' me now.
Probably because all the stress have drained me up... mentally.

However, I just want to touch on a rather serious topic.

Somehow, I seriously felt that I will have the chances
of aiming for university.
I don't think this is called thinking too early
That day will come...
Why not now?

However, I wasn't too happy thinking about it.
I mean, that's when you have to be serious about everything.

You have to throw everything aside
your friends, your fun time, your life

It's not exaggerating.
From what I can see so far, this job needs good discipline and mental toughness.
If not, you're only going to suffer, serious.

At this point in time
I really cannot figure out how I can do that.

I don't see how I can sacrifice many things.
All the good students like Jeff and Fea
They are not only good but focused.
They can spend hours working on something over and over again...
JUST to get them perfect.

I don't know how I can be like them yet.
I really don't.
But I don't have time to play either. I will need to make a choice soon.

Okay, real drained.
Off to sleep.

Am I annoying?
I just don't know why I am like this.

Even though it was just two months,
You are still special to me.

I wanna hit myself hard for being this annoying.

If I flunk P1, I'm to be blamed.

I just cannot manage my time :/

Never mind, fight till the end!

Going to sch now return a DVD and then off to Ban's house to do work.

Down the road and I'm still waiting.

I was seriously on the verge of giving up P1

But I can't.

because everyone else is also lagging behind but still fighting.

No excuses for me to give up right?

Just fight.

---

I regretted not having the confidence in myself before.

Before I can even make people believe

I need to believe in myself first.

Yes.

1st challenge is to do my best for P1

Then I will see how things go when hols start.

In everything you do

Don't think about what will happen.
Think about what we can make happen.

I often feel one way the first day.

Another way the next day.

I need to start being decisive.

Frustrated with myself.
3 straight days fell asleep.

Could have done a lot of work
within that period of time.

...

Never mind.

Need to go to sch now.
Got Perspectives to do.

Freaking busy week now

Today till Friday:
Autocad
Sketchup
Manual Rendering

Saturday:
Model

Sunday:
Layout

Monday and Tuesday:
Printing and Brief

Last stretch, I need to pull through this.

---

I need to tell myself to focus.
It's either I make it or break it.

If ever that question is for me.
I want you to know that I still do.

I don't show it because I don't know how you'd feel.

Yes!
A good comedy to watch!
Meet the Browns!!!

Can watch for de-stress during work :D

Tomorrow 8am Heat VS Bobcats.
Go Heat!!

Off to do work.

I wanna get a beanie like soon...
Like tomorrow?

Damn I want one!

Actually
I have no idea what to blog about.
Just felt like leaving a post for no reason.

All the irregular sleeping time is making me crazy
-.-"

First of all, the Heat beat Hawks.
A pretty tight match all the way but was enjoyable.
Wade poured in 38 points and 10 assists.
Beasley came in late 4th Q to bring us to the win.
Overall, great win :]

Anyway
The upcoming days will be busy like siao.
Presentation on 17th and 18th
meaning all work to be done by 15th or 16th latest.

Autocad, Sketch-up, Model, Printing.

It's gonna be one crazy ride :/

---

Okay.
Seriously nothing to blog about.

Desperately need a good bath and good rest.
See ya :]

I have the tendency to not be honest with myself.

But I will just keep it that way.

I rather myself suffer
than the people I appreciate or love suffer.

Hmm...
How long can I last that way?

I know I should be really doing my work now
but hey today I've really got A LOT of things I wanna talk about.

Ha I'm just excited!

Let's start off with Lakers @ Heat.
A classic duel between 2 of the best in the league:

Dwyane Wade and Kobe Bryant

I only managed to watch the 1st half before heading to school
But I heard it was one hell of a game and probably the best game from Heat this year. Season-high 31 lead changes in this game.

Kobe was great with 39 points,
including an awesome splitting the defense and then a double-pump jump shot! :D
Wade was also good with 27 points and 14 assists.

I think all in all, it came down to the Heat's overall contribution.
Arroyo was doing well, Haslem a double-double.
Beasley wasn't all great but had a SICK put-back OVER PAU GASOL.
and he got technical foul for taunting :D
Whatever! A dunk is a dunk!

JO did what he promised, he drew a charge against Kobe late in the game
and it pretty much put an end to that match.

Q-Rich was good. 7-11 from beyond the arc.
When he's hot, he REALLY is hot.
I still remember him hitting 7-7 from the arc, except that we lost that match.
But hey, I'm getting to like him a lot :]

So the Heat played really well, next up is Atlanta which I hope the same effort comes up.
Then we can screw the DAMNED hawks for a 3-1 sweep this season.
Go heat!!

Final (Over-time) : Heat 114 - Lakers 111

---

Moving on to more serious business now.
A short talk by overseas examiner and the FYP.
The examiner is the director of a certain university in California.
I didn't really understand what he was saying until the end.

2 good quotes from the talk.

"It seems that perfection is reached not when there is nothing left to add,
but when there's nothing left to take away."

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"It's never too late to become what you might have been."

- George Eliot

So that pumped me up for P1.
Then FYP was an eye-opener for me.

Yes, I sound like a kid getting fascinated by everything but that's the way I am, Like it or not.

I don't know if I was absorbing what the lecturer wanted us to know
but instead of their presentation style I kind of looked more into their process.

I then realized a huge difference - Our thinking.

When we think, we tend not to think of a whole picture.
It's like we do it part by part.
Let's say a corner of the building, we put this to create this or that.
Then another corner we do the this or that etc etc.

But it was way different in FYP.
They have a concept, they develop it and its like everything is done as a whole.
In fact, it even feels as a whole.

We like to manipulate emotions through the design
but when we don't do it completely,
it's like one moment you feel this, the next moment you feel another.

The FYP, however, they make you feel what they want to achieve.
It's like going through this space, you will feel this and then next you will feel another thing.

It sounds the same but they do it in a flow.
A somewhat comfortable flow.

---

I feel, after these long months, that design is not about stairs nice or wall nice.
It's more like what more you want to create out of it.
It's like a need to think deeper and make the people feel it too.

But I still think I'm very NOOB.
I showed Jeff my work and he was able to point out things I couldn't even noticed.
Wow -.-
Of course I want to let things take a natural course and
eventually I hope I can think better than now.

I seriously don't know.
Because even as I say so much, doesn't mean I'm as capable too.
Oh well, let's just do my best for P1 first.

Breeze isn't just for blowing leaves.
They bring you through a quick ride of emotions.

Today is a pretty good day after all :D

---

Just watched the 1st episode of
Nature's Great Events - [The Great Melt]
It explains in the duration of a year how the melting in the Arctic happens

It's really fascinating because many animals migrate to the once-frozen ice
and during that few months,
the lifeless and quiet Arctic suddenly brims with life.

It's really a sight because
what you always see as a whole land of ice suddenly becomes the sea.

And we get to see awesome and beautiful creatures
like the Bowhead Whale and Beluga Whales

One interesting fact I learnt was that
the Arctic Fox, which usually has beautiful white fur,
will change its color that matches the rocky terrain during the Great Melt.

So, it isn't white all the time.

---

They say it takes years for a tree to grow.
People are the same.
We take years to grow and mature before understanding things.

The awkward branches of a tree are just like problems we face.
They look ugly but after so long, the tree still stay strong.
Just like how obstacles strengthen us as humans.

Life is fascinating after all.

For today, I shall touch on a sensitive and complicated topic

Love.

Love has many definitions
As a matter of fact, there's no exact definition at all.

It can also be expressed in many ways
Friends, Lovers, Family, Pets.

I shall express my own view on this complicated yet amazing quality
that all living creatures have.

---

Couples like to spend special occasions together
getting presents for one another
very often, the guys treating the girls etc.

In a way, many of which are done in excessive.
Especially for teens, very often they revolve around money.

It sounds negative as I speak
But honestly, I feel that it is process of understanding and learning.

As they grow older and been through more
they will learn what it means to love.

---

Very often television series show love in a dramatized way
some of us go crazy along with it
some of us just criticized it

But honestly, Love can go in many different ways
we often think that it's overly done and not realistic

However, have we ever noticed that these 'overly-done' affections
are actually shown when a relationship is in trouble?

I believed I've said this before As dramatic as things can get, they just happened.

It isn't something which can be helped.
In fact, it happens because in these occasions people make wrong decisions
the frustration and the desperate need for security results in 'dramatic' situations

---

My view is that Love can be simple.
It ultimately goes down to how much you love and understand your partner.

During special occasions
I believe spending a few hours together by the beach chatting beats
more than what an expensive present can provide.

During times of trouble
It goes down to how much you understand your partner
to make the right decisions to solve the situation

Another important thing is also trust.
We don't really see our parents holding hands and mushy mushy that often right?
It's because they already have trust in one another
and that it lies in how much they love each other.
It's something they can feel in each other

Something invisible to others, yet visible to themselves.

---

Many of us may do desperate things to hold on to someone
Maybe we should calm ourselves down
and think, is this really the right thing to do?

Being desperate may not mean you love, it just means you want.

It all goes down to your heart ultimately.
Because if you really love someone,
you can do so for years after years after years.

Do not force things, let them take a natural course
If it means to be, it will come.
If it means to go, let it go.

Love is different in my view.
It needs feeling and not thinking.

When you start thinking, it affects trust.
When you start thinking, it may show that you don't understand your partner.

Eventually when you finally love someone
you will know what is right to do.

You will know, to yourself, what Love really is.