I'm supposed to be doing work now
but I just can't settle down.
but I just can't settle down.
Decided that I will just take a drink
sit on my bed with some music
and just let my thoughts settle down.
It worked.
Figured out that I will post.
A really long post
I will just let everything out on this post
and after this, I will work hard.
I really, really have to give myself a challenge.
Most of the time, I don't voice everything out
because some things are sensitive
but whatever it is
This time round, it will be different.
---
Yesterday was quite an inspirational day
I did a quite test and figured out my personality
I am an INFP (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving)
I do things based on my feelings and believe in my own values.
Reading through those wordy analysis helped out.
I was understanding myself much better.
Many of which stated were true.
This will be a lengthy post.
But it is not dedicated to anyone.
It will be a reflection for myself and
help myself take a step higher and challenge myself.
---
As a child, I could recall myself as the most unnoticed one.
My eldest brother was favored by my Grandfather.
My second brother is the god-son of my neighbor.
Me?
I'm just your average youngest son of the family.
I was a shy little boy
I was afraid of voicing out but deep inside, I actually do get big-headed easily.
Then as time passed, I do get more talkative
because of peers
You get that kind of feeling that you have a spot or position to talk.
Then sec 3 and 4 came when you start to realize
not everybody is easy to clique with.
You try to clique but that doesn't mean anything at all eventually.
At that point, I still didn't understand what it meant to be myself.
You can't predict a lot of things, you really can't.
Remember what I mentioned about my brothers?
Things changed.
A drastic manner.
They started having their own thoughts (yes, it's part of growing up.)
and this I really can't say much
but our relationship are not as close as before.
Now, I think my grandfather likes me more than my brother.
In fact, I do hear a lot of good comments about me from a number of people nowadays.
Let's not get ahead of myself now alright.
Yes I feel happy for the acknowledgment
but when you think again, are these really more important than anything else?
My family has always been distant from my cousins side.
It's that different values that separates us.
I do feel that after so long, my family is still the fortunate one
but looking at things now, I can't agree anymore.
It may have changed so much but at the end of it
will any of this come down to a happy ending?
I can't tell, I can't judge, I can't predict.
All I can do is to let time decide
and when the problem comes, this family has to solve it.
---
At a young age, I feel that I am more mature than what I should be.
Mainly because of my family background and things that I went through.
My parents used to have fights and many of them went ugly...
I can still remember myself sitting at the corner
crying as I hear things being thrown around.
Also, thinking back, I realized I was the only child in the family
to be going through most of these events.
My brothers were either at school or outside.
Hence I feel that all these had mature me earlier.
It made me more sensitive towards emotions and feelings...
Other than that, my NPCC life built up my maturity even more
because my batch was chaotic
lots of conflicts and having to see from so many perspectives of people
really groom me a lot.
---
Actually, a huge change in my perspective of life came
after my O's when I became attached.
Please note that this is a sensitive issue and no comments are needed.
Everyone has issues about this and
there will be one day when we need to confront it.
I think today will be the day.
I was a stubborn fellow back then.
I was obsessed and did stupid things.
But that stretch of time really made me think a lot.
Not just about relationships but also about life.
I was more serious about things and how I was as a person.
I really feel that if none of these had happened
I wouldn't have become who I am now.
At least I am able to think optimistic now
and take things more easily.
Yes, I may only be 17 but these 2 factors
have really helped me, especially in this tough Poly life.
During the 1st day of new year,
I actually woke up and told myself
it's time to move on.
It should have happened long time ago but
at least I've finally thought through.
Besides, all these thinking really make me understand that
at this point of time, I'm not ready for any relationship.
I'm the type of guy who go for long lasting relationship
and seeing how stubborn I was after the break,
another relationship would really end up disastrous.
Besides, if I can't handle my academic life at this point in time,
I don't think a relationship will be any better.
So for now, academic comes first.
---
Poly life has been the other huge step for me.
It is really different from TKSS.
the people are of very different "culture" from TKSS.
As much as I tell myself to clique in, I figure that I should just be myself.
This is actually the stage where I figured out that I will just be myself.
Because forcing things doesn't bring any happiness.
My classmates are all nice people
just that we have different perspectives.
But that doesn't mean I have anything against them.
No matter what, it doesn't change the fact that classmates are still friends.
I also figured out that I have to have a goal.
Because in Poly, a lot of things are self-disciplinary.
And through that, I figured that I want to be a useful person in the future.
I want to help the unfortunate.
Yes I do find myself talking a lot and doing nothing
but the bottom line is
I want make this world a better place.
no matter what I do in the future,
I want to be part of the better community.
Making lives better for others.
All lot of things are still uncertain
because I'm still 17.
How wonderful life can be, depends on how we view it.
There's no right or wrong.
When dealing with a tough situation,
learn to make the better out of it.
Nothing's too late until we think they are.
We always say
when there's good, there's always bad.
However, try looking at it this way.
when there's bad, there's always good.
A simple twist can change things.
Life is the same.
A simple effort can make life for the better.
That's it for today.
Have a nice day people.
sit on my bed with some music
and just let my thoughts settle down.
It worked.
Figured out that I will post.
A really long post
I will just let everything out on this post
and after this, I will work hard.
I really, really have to give myself a challenge.
Most of the time, I don't voice everything out
because some things are sensitive
but whatever it is
This time round, it will be different.
---
Yesterday was quite an inspirational day
I did a quite test and figured out my personality
I am an INFP (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving)
I do things based on my feelings and believe in my own values.
Reading through those wordy analysis helped out.
I was understanding myself much better.
Many of which stated were true.
This will be a lengthy post.
But it is not dedicated to anyone.
It will be a reflection for myself and
help myself take a step higher and challenge myself.
---
As a child, I could recall myself as the most unnoticed one.My eldest brother was favored by my Grandfather.
My second brother is the god-son of my neighbor.
Me?
I'm just your average youngest son of the family.
I was a shy little boy
I was afraid of voicing out but deep inside, I actually do get big-headed easily.
Then as time passed, I do get more talkative
because of peers
You get that kind of feeling that you have a spot or position to talk.
Then sec 3 and 4 came when you start to realize
not everybody is easy to clique with.
You try to clique but that doesn't mean anything at all eventually.
At that point, I still didn't understand what it meant to be myself.
You can't predict a lot of things, you really can't.
Remember what I mentioned about my brothers?
Things changed.
A drastic manner.
They started having their own thoughts (yes, it's part of growing up.)
and this I really can't say much
but our relationship are not as close as before.
Now, I think my grandfather likes me more than my brother.
In fact, I do hear a lot of good comments about me from a number of people nowadays.
Let's not get ahead of myself now alright.
Yes I feel happy for the acknowledgment
but when you think again, are these really more important than anything else?
My family has always been distant from my cousins side.
It's that different values that separates us.
I do feel that after so long, my family is still the fortunate one
but looking at things now, I can't agree anymore.
It may have changed so much but at the end of it
will any of this come down to a happy ending?
I can't tell, I can't judge, I can't predict.
All I can do is to let time decide
and when the problem comes, this family has to solve it.
---
At a young age, I feel that I am more mature than what I should be.
Mainly because of my family background and things that I went through.
My parents used to have fights and many of them went ugly...
I can still remember myself sitting at the corner
crying as I hear things being thrown around.
Also, thinking back, I realized I was the only child in the family
to be going through most of these events.
My brothers were either at school or outside.
Hence I feel that all these had mature me earlier.
It made me more sensitive towards emotions and feelings...
Other than that, my NPCC life built up my maturity even more
because my batch was chaotic
lots of conflicts and having to see from so many perspectives of people
really groom me a lot.
---
Actually, a huge change in my perspective of life came
after my O's when I became attached.
Please note that this is a sensitive issue and no comments are needed.
Everyone has issues about this and
there will be one day when we need to confront it.
I think today will be the day.
I was a stubborn fellow back then.
I was obsessed and did stupid things.
But that stretch of time really made me think a lot.
Not just about relationships but also about life.
I was more serious about things and how I was as a person.
I really feel that if none of these had happened
I wouldn't have become who I am now.
At least I am able to think optimistic now
and take things more easily.
Yes, I may only be 17 but these 2 factors
have really helped me, especially in this tough Poly life.
During the 1st day of new year,
I actually woke up and told myself
it's time to move on.
It should have happened long time ago but
at least I've finally thought through.
Besides, all these thinking really make me understand that
at this point of time, I'm not ready for any relationship.
I'm the type of guy who go for long lasting relationship
and seeing how stubborn I was after the break,
another relationship would really end up disastrous.
Besides, if I can't handle my academic life at this point in time,
I don't think a relationship will be any better.
So for now, academic comes first.
---
Poly life has been the other huge step for me.It is really different from TKSS.
the people are of very different "culture" from TKSS.
As much as I tell myself to clique in, I figure that I should just be myself.
This is actually the stage where I figured out that I will just be myself.
Because forcing things doesn't bring any happiness.
My classmates are all nice people
just that we have different perspectives.
But that doesn't mean I have anything against them.
No matter what, it doesn't change the fact that classmates are still friends.
I also figured out that I have to have a goal.
Because in Poly, a lot of things are self-disciplinary.
And through that, I figured that I want to be a useful person in the future.
I want to help the unfortunate.
Yes I do find myself talking a lot and doing nothing
but the bottom line is
I want make this world a better place.
no matter what I do in the future,
I want to be part of the better community.
Making lives better for others.
All lot of things are still uncertainbecause I'm still 17.
How wonderful life can be, depends on how we view it.
There's no right or wrong.
When dealing with a tough situation,
learn to make the better out of it.
Nothing's too late until we think they are.
We always say
when there's good, there's always bad.
However, try looking at it this way.
when there's bad, there's always good.
A simple twist can change things.
Life is the same.
A simple effort can make life for the better.
That's it for today.
Have a nice day people.