1.56am now
Finally i managed to start work.
Going to research for places to get my materials later on.
Somehow..
I'm not tired now.
Today is kind of weird for me.
Just totally bland.
Maybe I was too tired..?
I didn't think much.
I wasn't too high.
I wasn't too emo.
I'm... Just normal today.
Somehow. Today feels different.
It's like.. more mature. more sensible.
Weird way of phrasing it huh..
It's just.. questions keep appearing in my mind.
Questions about my uncertainties.
Things i need to give some thoughts about.
Somehow it makes me feel that I'm a grown-up.
Actually.
Ever since poly.. many things changed.
My thinking.. the way i behave.. how i viewed things.. Everything's changed.
Naturally, i do think a lot.
Just that things are more complicated now.. isn't this what adults will have to face?
This is probably the stage where most people my age will feel the same..?
When you think back..
You start to realize many of the stupid things you did.
Still, you will want to do them again.
This is where Responsibility becomes an obstacle.
Things you can no longer do because you have to be responsible.
Simply put it, as of now, we have to be more independent.
Very often i will compare myself..
How I've changed over the years.
How I wished I was still the same.
I used to be the type of person who could hear people's problems out.
As time passed by.. things changed.
I know why.
Because everyone around me are maturing.
They can start solving their own problems.
They no longer require people to help them.
Then again, it isn't too much of a bad thing eh.. I always tell myself.
Just that it feels weird somehow.
Because now you feel like there's nothing much you can do.
There's this feeling of.. uselessness.
There are things which I don't really bother as much as I used to.
Some are good.. Some are bad..
Someone once said something like..
Don't try to be too nice every time.
I pondered over it.
I thought.. what's wrong with that?
Helping people out.. is that something to be considered?
Then again.. this world is pretty ugly.. that's a fact.
It's because there are people who are greedy..
People who are sly..
People who hold bad intentions..
That's why..
Being too nice will never seem to be nice after all.
You can get cheated.. or you can cheat.
I always wonder.
While people in the poor regions are suffering..
Why are we still enjoying life.. ?
Checking out fashion.. having fun..
I used to think this can never be accepted.
Now I realized there's nothing we can do.
Because life has to go on.
Do we stop just because people are suffering on the other end..?
It doesn't make sense right?
Life has to go on. That's the answer.
We don't change so simply for those reasons.
Again.. this is another example of learning not to be too nice.
I have friends who are always happy.
I have friends who tend to be more emotional.
I once told someone before.. I prefer life with ups and downs.
Not saying being happy is bad, nor being sad is good.
Just that.. I feel that life is much more interesting that way.. isn't it?
You lose something.. you gain something..
In the end..
We will still learn something right?
Just like playing a game.. there are always different difficulties.
As you progress, you wish to be the best.
Then again, I would rather be on par with it.
I'd rather win some and lose some.
In that way, things will never get bored right?
Eventually you will learn something.
You learn to face challenges with all you've got.
You learn to be better and better.
You learn the right attitude to face problems.
Okay.. i stop now.
What a long post..
I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head.
Then again, they may be good questions for you to think about..
that is if you understand what i'm writing.
(pardon me, I just think a lot..)
Bye.
Finally i managed to start work.
Going to research for places to get my materials later on.
Somehow..
I'm not tired now.
Today is kind of weird for me.
Just totally bland.
Maybe I was too tired..?
I didn't think much.
I wasn't too high.
I wasn't too emo.
I'm... Just normal today.
Somehow. Today feels different.
It's like.. more mature. more sensible.
Weird way of phrasing it huh..
It's just.. questions keep appearing in my mind.
Questions about my uncertainties.
Things i need to give some thoughts about.
Somehow it makes me feel that I'm a grown-up.
Actually.
Ever since poly.. many things changed.
My thinking.. the way i behave.. how i viewed things.. Everything's changed.
Naturally, i do think a lot.
Just that things are more complicated now.. isn't this what adults will have to face?
This is probably the stage where most people my age will feel the same..?
When you think back..
You start to realize many of the stupid things you did.
Still, you will want to do them again.
This is where Responsibility becomes an obstacle.
Things you can no longer do because you have to be responsible.
Simply put it, as of now, we have to be more independent.
Very often i will compare myself..
How I've changed over the years.
How I wished I was still the same.
I used to be the type of person who could hear people's problems out.
As time passed by.. things changed.
I know why.
Because everyone around me are maturing.
They can start solving their own problems.
They no longer require people to help them.
Then again, it isn't too much of a bad thing eh.. I always tell myself.
Just that it feels weird somehow.
Because now you feel like there's nothing much you can do.
There's this feeling of.. uselessness.
There are things which I don't really bother as much as I used to.
Some are good.. Some are bad..
Someone once said something like..
Don't try to be too nice every time.
I pondered over it.
I thought.. what's wrong with that?
Helping people out.. is that something to be considered?
Then again.. this world is pretty ugly.. that's a fact.
It's because there are people who are greedy..
People who are sly..
People who hold bad intentions..
That's why..
Being too nice will never seem to be nice after all.
You can get cheated.. or you can cheat.
I always wonder.
While people in the poor regions are suffering..
Why are we still enjoying life.. ?
Checking out fashion.. having fun..
I used to think this can never be accepted.
Now I realized there's nothing we can do.
Because life has to go on.
Do we stop just because people are suffering on the other end..?
It doesn't make sense right?
Life has to go on. That's the answer.
We don't change so simply for those reasons.
Again.. this is another example of learning not to be too nice.
I have friends who are always happy.
I have friends who tend to be more emotional.
I once told someone before.. I prefer life with ups and downs.
Not saying being happy is bad, nor being sad is good.
Just that.. I feel that life is much more interesting that way.. isn't it?
You lose something.. you gain something..
In the end..
We will still learn something right?
Just like playing a game.. there are always different difficulties.
As you progress, you wish to be the best.
Then again, I would rather be on par with it.
I'd rather win some and lose some.
In that way, things will never get bored right?
Eventually you will learn something.
You learn to face challenges with all you've got.
You learn to be better and better.
You learn the right attitude to face problems.
Okay.. i stop now.
What a long post..
I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head.
Then again, they may be good questions for you to think about..
that is if you understand what i'm writing.
(pardon me, I just think a lot..)
Bye.