Yo peeps.. how's life lately?
Mine? Argh.. too many words to define. Just feeling damn moody now. F***. Pardon me if i swear or anything later on in the post. Just feeling... ARGH.
Words to describe?
Disappointment.
Anger.
Demoralized.
Frustrated.
Irritated.
Tired.
FCUKED-UP!
Let's see.. This morning went for medical check-up.. okay fine, went early cause my Mum said there would be a lot of people. Of course i was rather exhausted due to lack of sleep and looked pretty moody. And so what she said was true. Apparently i WAS SUPPOSED to be the 5th person to go for the check-up with the doctor. Somehow.. couldn't go to the toilet to do small business... So i drank like 5-7 cups of water?! And waited for half-an-hour or so.. in the end became the 20 plus person to see the doctor instead.
Fine, okay i waited.
Went inside the the room to see the doctor. Everything went fine. Then when the check-up was done. She gave me the collection form and said something and i didn't really managed to catch what she said. Then of course i had to asked her again what she had said to me earlier on.
Me: "Sorry, go where?"
Doctor: "You can *something something, i couldn't hear what she said again* or you can choose to stay here if you want."
Okay, maybe to you guys it didn't sound like anything much.. BUT she replied with that attitude as though i was trying to pull a joke with her.
COME ON, I COULDN'T CATCH WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER ON. OF COURSE I HAVE TO ASK YOU AGAIN IN CASE I LEAVE ANYTHING OUT RIGHT? MEDICAL CHECK-UP LEH! WTF?!
Fine, after that i just left the place to meet up with my mum and then went home.
Next thing, Basketball.. DAMN FRUSTRATING. I am getting worse and worse.
Damn demoralizing. I am left with 1 and a half months before POLY starts. I know now that i have no chances of making it to the team.
The day before i went to Banjamin's place to do up the POLY admission thing. At the same time played basketball as well. I was darn freaking lousy. let's see... shooting maybe 2 out of 10 will go in? Drive in to the basket also will get blocked. Fine, maybe they are adults they are more experienced than me.
I looked at them, they are like the same height as me yet i get blocked by them?! Not saying i should be better but come on, if they can do it why can't I?!
What the freaking hell am i lacking?!
Today afternoon went off to play again with some people i used to play with. By right, i seriously feel that i should be better than them, i am not boasting now.
I can grabbed grabbed rebounds better than them. Maybe that's defensive wise.
But i can't even drive in to do a proper lay-up and my shooting were all out.
Oh come on, how can i not be disappointed with myself?
It's damn frustrating to think that you're not doing well and not even halfway near your goal. IT FEELS JUST FCUKED-UP.
I will always watch matches by the side, hoping i can just go in and join them.
But when i start thinking how i would perform, it's just so demoralizing and disappointing.
Seriously i don't have any high hopes now.
So much for saying how much i want to get into the team.
Maybe i'm not cut-out for this.
Feel like an ass man.. ALL TALK NO ACTION.
Why is all these shit happening to me..
I will just continue playing for the time being and see how things go. SIAN. SIAN. SIAN.
Kay, enough of my ranting.