I'm all better now.
No more glum face.
Figured that things had to be done.
So yeah.

New Year means a new start.
So I'm going to continue to work hard
and strive towards my goal.
Work harder to make myself a better person.

I will look to expect more from myself this year.
I will figure out how to work towards my goal.
So yeah.

Basically. This is a random post!

Anyway, I will be getting a new phone soon.
Yay!

That's all people.
Bye!

Lastly, this is the lyrics of
<受保護> by Serene 龔芝怡
Enjoy!

I like my new blogskin

pretty nice right.

well... i still have that glum face now.
and i haven't really talked since the new year began.

oh well...
get so sian when i think about it...

shall start a new year fresh.
I found some nice pictures from
deviantart
so all credits to them.

enjoy the photos people.



Nice aren't they?
Hope that someday i will do all those.

Happy New Year people.
Bye.

Decided to edit my post.
I don't wanna end 2009 like this.
but hate the fact that i answered that bloody call.
seriously.
It totally ruined my mood for today.
even decided not to meet my classmates today.
...
...
...

never mind.


2009?
well, it was hell of a ride.
that's what it's like being 17 years old.
been through quite a lot of things
and came to understand a lot more.
and of course, a lot more i have yet to learn.

How shall I put it?
Everything seemed smooth at the start
until the problems came.

I went through relationship issues.
That really really made me think a hell lot.
To my ex, I may have done stupid things a lot.
but thank you for all you have done.
It was a short journey but a memorable one.
I wish you all the best and a happy new year :]

Then School began and a new life started.
At first I was unsure of myself.
Or rather, I was my lazy self.
My results went from okay to bad.
I ended my first semester with 3 Cs.
So yeah, understand the situation?

The environment in Poly was different.
In fact, I was kind of stuck.
I just didn't know who I am.

Then moving towards the 2nd semester,
I just really thought so much.
I looked at my results.
I looked at myself.
I had conflicts with friends, I had this and that.
I figured out that I had to get myself out of this shit.

Then somehow I found a way through.
I figured that I had to be myself.
I wanted to just do things I felt comfortable with.
Of course, not being selfish in a way.
I didn't wanna do things just because others are doing so.
I wanted to do it only when I really want to.
I may not be there yet but i will keep trying.

I somehow have a dream I want to work towards.
Things can happen all of a sudden.
Those are beyond our control but no matter what.
I will keep trying.
Failures can be accepted, but not trying is unacceptable.
As said by Michael Jordan.

So in short
2009 was a pretty amazing one.
I had so many things to think about
and somehow I am still figuring a way out.
More to come in 2010.

In any case, that's all I shall say.
Have a happy holiday and
a Happy New Year people

Is it because I'm tired?
well... my mood now is just bland.


got myself to watch some comedy to wake myself up a bit.
yeah, pretty much helped.
During Rosli's class,
i tried to be focus but i couldn't
i just slept through.
damn.

Was planning to watch NBA match tomorrow morning
but because there's a group work to rush
so i have to miss it.
damn.

In case no one knows.
I'm not a person who's always the same.
I'm actually the kind who acts according to my mood.
So yeah, right now is tired.

There are quite a lot of questions on my mind now.
But I shan't try to answer any of them.
There's probably no need to anyway...

I will just watch movies and do my assignments during my break.
have quite a lot to watch.
just got 2 more new movies from my classmate today.
so yeah. I will just relax myself.
I know I need it.

Linking back to the promise.
I don't know why but I
pretty much long for a life like that.
I don't need to be have a million friends.
I don't need to always be playing or drinking.
Just "simple" will do.
That's the answer.
Simplicity.

I don't know about anyone else.
or perhaps everyone thinks the same.
I just like shows with meaning and emotions in them.

We can keep doing and doing things
but i think most importantly, they need to have a meaning to them.
Even standing... crying... smiling...
nothing matters as long as they carry a meaning to them.

Oh well, just ignore whatever i wrote.
I'm just writing through my tired mind.

i need to sleep.
ciao.

Watched "Stomp the Yard"
wow. the dance wowed me.
especially the freestyle moves
Chris Brown and Columbus were really good.
also the battle between the Gamma and Theta.
like insulting here and there but it was cool.
really, should check it out people.

anyway.
i camped in the library during the break today.
slept and studied.
short study period but was productive.
i kind of got interested in the midst of it.
good start.
GOOD START!

actually an idea popped in my head last night.
i thought it might be good for me
i wanted to try out being a volunteer.
i watched shows and examples on TV.
then i thought,
"why haven't i thought of trying it for myself?"
then again, i talked to my mom about it.
she is neutral but wants me to study first
so yeah i agree.
i figure that i will probably have no time either.
so for the time being, it's a "No"

anyway. i shall start on my work now.
tomorrow will be a tedious day.

when will i be able to do the same thing?
to feel the nature up close.

Haha.
Damn.
The show is still stuck in my head.
"The Promise" i mean.

It just served as a motivation and reminder for me so much.
Motivation that I need to work hard for my goal.
A reminder that life is not that simple.

Hope more terrific shows like that keep coming.

People just get so engrossed in work
they forget about that lighter part of life.
Even a simple act of just sitting by the bench and relaxing
seemed to be out of the ordinary.

Alright. Just blogging for fun.
Kind of tired so I'm gonna turn in soon.

I will keep motivating myself.
I want to achieve my goal.
I want to make people smile.

damn.
was pretty pissed off just now.
but never mind, I don't wanna spoil my own mood.

anyway.. Sunday was a pretty relaxing day for me.

Watched "Alvin and the Chipmunks"
Haha Theodore is my favorite
He's damn adorable.

Then i watched "Step Up"
for the 2nd time and on Channel 5.
It's a nice movie, pretty different from "Step Up 2".
it's a little more focused on the relationship between people
while Step Up 2 is the other way round, more on the dance.
but still, both are good movies ;D

After that was the Grand Finale of Singapore Idol.
well, we all know the winner.
I like both of them but probably Sylvia might have deserved it more
because her vocals were stronger than Sezairi's.
But then again, their own version of the final song "Touched By An Angel" was really nice.
Either way, both were already winners coming that far.
Haha, let's just wait for their album then :]

Then finally, i got to watch 向日葵的约定 [The Promise]
I have to say, it was nice.
Really, for a singapore production
it was good and touching at times.
The ending kind of shocked me a bit
because it was not what I had expected.
But then again, that's probably how it has to end...
I shan't give any spoilers
if there's a DVD, hopefully i can go get it.

-----
It kind of reminded me a lot of things...
but i think the show reminded me more of something else
something like
"What would ultimately be my dream?"

I may not have gone through a lot...
but i definitely had thought a lot, and i must say
throughout so many things, I've learn a lot.
We have seen so many cases of people succeeding.
People going through so much to bring themselves glory and achieving their goals.
And so many of them were inspirational.
I have even thought to myself...
will I be capable of that?

From birth till now... things have been changing and changing
I used to be a kid who loved drawing.
I would doodle on any paper, books I could find.
Then slowly, I stopped.
I came to love basketball instead.
I would play and watch... play and watch...
Then now, I am grown up.
So many things went through my mind at this stage...
I began to think... What would be my goal?
Even now, i am not really sure yet.
But I do have some in mind.

I never know if it will come true.
But ultimately, it is to help people.
To give people happiness, and eventually, bring a smile to their faces.
I am somewhat working towards that
but it is hard. Maybe I'm not even at the very first stage yet.
But then again,
when was it easy to start with?
This is what I think is the hardest to do...
Because humans are selfish beings, we can't deny that.
For any of us to go to that extreme to put others before us.
That's the hardest step
But then again, that's what I want.
I shall work hard.
That's my goal for now.

I feel fortunate for who I am.
I really am.
I am already satisfied with the fact that I am sensitive.
I think more but does it kill?
I am happy that I come to understand feelings more.
I may not be a party guy but does it matter?
"Just be yourself"
but not just that.
"Be oneself who is not selfish."
this is what I have finally learnt after 17 years
and that's the way i shall go.
I shall be myself.

"Someday we will get there..."